2018 5th Place Game Naming Tournament - Elite Eight
Introduction Time to reveal the eight strong names left in the Naming Tournament. It was blowouts galore in the Sweet Sixteen, with four names winning 7-2 and two others winning 6-3. Several owners are stacking up points and with the multipliers coming at the end of next week we might have some really high point totals in the off-season rankings. Speaking of which… Off-Season Standings * Everyone-1,000 points for not picking Russia. * Butt-300 points for paying dues, 12 points for having 12 ideas for getting points, and 12 courtesy points. * Zach-100 points for World Cup idea, 13 points for birthday, 37 points for having to put up with Pat. * Chris-13 points for birthday. * Pat-<50> points for trying to take attention away from Zach's birthday, <13> points as a bday gift to Chris. * Nate-<100> points for not taking initiative and coming up with off-season competitions. Momma, who was in the lead at this point last off-season as well, is once again watching his lead slowly slip away. Very sad. T's and P's. Meanwhile, ol' cocky Pat has himself positioned perfectly in last place. Couple people still haven't paid dues. It's now the time of year where I ask politely for everyone to just do that and get it over with so I can finish up organizing stuff in the Yahoo app. Sweet Sixteen Results The 5 Guys Game (5) vs. The Battle of Mediocrity (4) 5 guys, that's one guy for every vote garnered in this match. Battle of Mediocrity bites the dust and if this were the 5th place game it would have to buy 5 Guys a 5 Guys burger. The L on the Back Game (7) vs. The Battle of Asscum (2) "What the fuck is wrong with these people," - my dad after seeing the name Battle of Asscum. I guess the lesson has been learned for the next naming tournament. The league isn't the biggest fan of raunchy names, instead choosing the more inside joke/witty names. L on the Back moves on. By the way, what does the L stand for, "load?" Pretty raunchy if you ask me... The Participation Award Bowl (7) vs. RI Roundnet Presents: The 5th Place Game (2) Woof. I guess RI Roundnet Presents made it to the second round due more to the weakness of their opponent and not the strength of its name. Insiders have indicated that Participation Award is a heavy favorite in the Elite Eight. The McAteer Classic (5) vs. The Battle of the LOC Bastards (4) You killed Battle of the LOC Bastards! You bastard! McAteer squeaks by (not the first time I've said that). This Counts as a Playoff Win (7) vs. The 6th Place Game (2) 6th Place Game was so bad, so boring, so repulsive, that the name that isn't even a name blew it out of the water. 6th Place Game finishes tied for 16th. Cinco De Lose-O (7) vs. Powderpuff Paddock's Permanent Position (2) Cinco De Lose-O es en fuego. The Who Cares Classic (6) vs. I Plead the Fiiifff (3) Both classics make it through, bringing them one step closer to a classic showdown in the finals. The Mediocre Bowl (6) vs. The No Name Game (3) Color me confused. I thought No Name Game was a really strong name, but the voters thought otherwise. Where Battle of Mediocrity fell, The Mediocre Bowl meanders on to the Elite Eight. The Elite Eight The 5 Guys Game vs. L on the Back Game A close fight here with two 5th place names that have championship potential. L on the Back is more league-specific, with a joke that is ingrained in the history of the LOC. But 5 Guys adds an extra layer to the competition. The loser buys the winner a burger. I'd like to add a layer to this. We have to get some sort of video of the loser watching the winner eat the victory burger right in his fucking face. The Participation Award Bowl vs. The McAteer Classic Same sort of match here, with the latter being a league specific joke but the former being a more insulting, devastating name. McAteer Classic fits with Salty Dolphin Bowl as a way to honor the most successful team of that game. If we're going to name this the Participation Award Bowl we might need to come up with some sort of fake trophy to give the winner. Something more insulting than the usual toilet bowl trophy that last place teams usually get. Maybe it will be something with a dinosaur on it. This Counts as a Playoff Win vs. Cinco De Lose-O This Counts as a Playoff Win is the only Opening Eight name to make it to the Elite Eight, but can it take down Cinco De Lose-O, the de facto favorite? Cinco De Lose-O is just so fucking funny. The Who Cares Classic vs. The Medioce Bowl A close battle to end the Elite Eight, with two semi-popular names. The former name does perfectly describe the meaning of this game. But the latter describes the teams playing in that game. World Cup A reminder of who has what team in the World Cup competition. Absolutely brutal for Nate to make a comment about Mexico not making it out of the group stage only to have Mexico beat Germany in their first game. You really want to keep talkin shit to Shotti before matchups? You're an insane person. Vote VOTE